The first fruit of mine, my son

JANG, Ji Yeong(An Unmarried Mother)

It was one day in 2009, a year ago, when I was 37 weeks pregnant that the waters broke all of a sudden and I was delivered of my son weighing 2.9 kilograms. Ja-Hu, the first fruit of mine, was born. A year has passed since then and September, 2010 is already just around the corner.

For a period of one year, Ja-Hu has breathed air of the world, felt refreshing breezes, bathed in the sun, and heard thd

sound of raining. To me, a year used to be a short period and merely mean the four seasons of spring, summer, autumn, and winter or the unit used to count the length of time. After Ja-Hu was born, however, a year got to mean a lot to me.

Two months after he was born, a doctor diagnosed his case as parosysmal tachycardia. It caused trouble as his heart beat extraordinarily fast. In thd early stages, he had to be confined to his bed at the large hospital run by a university without knowing how long he would have to stay there. To a miracle indeed, thd palpitations of his heart could be controlled by medicine. Taking medicines three time a day currently helps his hearbeats keep up in good condition. All my family have been in a body to spend the time of Ja-Hu's one year together.

The baby, who had lain down all day long, turned over his body one day and kept his head steady another day. He sat on his own and babbled abruptly. Now he stands up all by himself and picks up and waves little things to show them to me. All these moments were and are so special and wonder to me.

It is not easy to raise a child. It is not always hard and difficult, though. Nobody can do it well from the beginning. One does not need to have special ability or qualifications in order to raise a child. As Ja-Hu learned many things one by one after born, so did I while taking care of him. I realized many things new. Was it this hard to walk? Was it this great to grab a thing with a hand and utter a word? Ja-Hu certainly keeps growing and I feel I also keep growing even right at this moment.

'I should bear more, see farther, do the right things more, and live a right life so that I as mother may set a good example for my child,' THis thought makes me feel that there are many things I have to know, learn, and cherish. What is really important is that I do all these things spontaneously and even enjoy it though no one gets or forces me to do so.

Both physically and mentally, isn't it hard somehow to raise a child all by oneself rather than to do it together one's mate? I would like to interpret it this way: 'Heaven gave me questions with a little more difficulty to solve. I am just figuring out such a little more difficulty questions.'

Anybody would be able to figure out questions if they are easy to solve. In this respect, I think that I am figuring out more difficult questions than others are and that I am doing it even more honestly and proudly with pleasure.

These days I am preparing for the first birthday party for my ja-Hu. It was when he was sick and hospitalized that I committed myself to do a thing at every birthday of him which congratulate him on his birthdays in a special way with all my love and healthy spirit. I hoped I would praise and encourage him who would be doing everything well. I do not mean to throw his birthday parties over-excitedly or extravagantly. I just want to prepare a meaningful and special party every year. So I am pumped all the more to think about each year I well share with my son in the future.

Of couse, merry things well not always wait for us.
However, I strongly believe in me and Ja-Hu as we two have made it so far. And I will do my best to prepare for our future and try hard to make my way for my son and myself. I long for my son to bear fruit someday like I bore the fruit, my dear Ja-Hu.