This is the testimony of an unwed mother who are rearing a 3-year old boy.
I am 36-years-old and an unwed mother of a 3-year old son. My son Ji-hun’s birth was quite different from that of other families. I metJi-hun’s father on a blind-date. We went out several times and one day, a night of alcohol led to unexpected consequences.
We were not in love to put it bluntly. I was in myfifth month of pregnancy when I found out that I was pregnant. It was after Ji-hun’s father and I broke up. I was so helpless at the time. Icould not help thinking about having an abortion because I never planned on being an unwed mother. To the worst, I had failed in a businessventure.As awful as it sounds, I often wished that something had gone wrong with the babybecause I was so afraid of how other people would treat me as well and the difficulty to raise a child alone and pursue my dreams. I just couldn’t have my baby but I decidedto not have an abortion..
I wasn’t sure if this was God’s arrangement, but I think that Ji-hun and I were meant to be together.I found him so adorable when he was born and I was so grateful to God for giving me this baby. When he was 3-days-old, being breast-fed, his tongue was getting stiff and couldn’t drink any milk.Seeing him struggle, I cried and prayed a lot. I prayed everyday for my son to get healthy.
I stayed at ashelter for a while untilI finally told my family about Ji-hun and moved back home.Then I informed my friends and Ji-hun’s father. His family was shocked and tried to reunite us but he already had plans to marry someone else. His mother occasionally stopped by to see her grandson. These days, however, they avoid my phone calls.
I want to live my life to the fullest with Ji-hun. When he began to say his first words –mommy, aunt, chilly –his growth always amazed me and I felt so grateful and happy.It gives me joy when seeing him fall asleep at ease only with me orwhen he gives me a big hug and tells me that he loves me. I’m trying my best every day with the hope that there will be brighter days for both of us.
I’d like to give strength to those who are bringing up their children alone just like me.
Translated by Oksoon Shin
Proofread by Christal Phillips